


What Seaver Heard

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Thicker than Water [44]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 15:05:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2433161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I thought nothing could top Black Jesus…boy was I wrong.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Seaver Heard

**Author's Note:**

> This story is told in the **Thicker than Water** universe, where the BAU are kids and teens.

“Sometimes you and Jason make the same noises that Dave and Gargamel make.” Ashley said. “Pass the chicken please.”

“What do you mean, Ashley?” Emily asked. She added more sour cream to her fajita.

“I mean those funny noises…oh, oh, ooh, ooh, oh my God, Jason, Jason!” she scrunched up her nose. “What the heck are you guys doing in there?”

JJ nearly choked on her iced tea while Morgan had to turn his head so that his squirted on the floor instead of all over Hotch. He didn’t know whether to choke or laugh; he ended up with a hybrid of both. Penelope just giggled like eleven year old girls do. Hotch covered his eyes but the cranberry flush went straight up to the tips of his ears. Jason looked mortified, Emily looked concerned, and Spencer looked confused.

“What's so funny?” Ashley asked, clearly not realizing what she’d started.

Her question just made JJ and Derek laugh even more.

“This is the best dinner ever.” JJ sputtered between guffaws. “I thought nothing could top Black Jesus…boy was I wrong.”

Emily cleared her throat, focusing on Ashley. The little girl was sitting next to her.

“When did you hear noises like that, Ashley?” she asked.

“Um, I heard them the night before last. Sometimes I can't sleep so I just lay there. I used to explore all over the house but I don’t wanna get in trouble so I stay in bed with Kitty. The house was so quiet and I just heard ‘oh, oh God, mmm’…that kinda thing. And I heard something about Katya. Who’s Katya, Emily?”

“Stop it.” JJ held her stomach while laughing. “Stop the kid; she’s killing me.”

“Cut it out, JJ.” Jason gave her arm a nice poke.

“But that’s hysterical.”

“What is so funny?” Ashley demanded.

“When you find out will you tell me?” Spencer asked.

“I got your back, Spencer.” The seven year old nodded.

“Ashley, you and I will talk after dinner.” Emily replied. “Everyone else can stop yucking it up and finish eating.”

She didn’t know how but they all managed to do it. Even JJ kept her chuckling down to a minimum. Emily glanced over at Jason. He still looked mortified but gave her a soft smile. Since Ashley had no idea what she’d stirred up, she ate like she always did.

Jason even had to tell her to slow down once. No one would take it away from her and if she ate too fast it would hurt her stomach. He remembered JJ ate like that when she first arrived; Morgan too. It was like ‘eat now or miss any chance till breakfast’. Hopefully over time she would lose that sense of urgency.

***

“I did something wrong, didn’t I?” Ashley asked. She was sitting on the back banister swinging her short legs and tiny feet. She was also drinking some of Morgan’s iced tea. It was so delicious.

“Why do you think that?” Emily asked her own question as she lit her clove. It was almost Ashley’s bedtime but she definitely wanted to talk about what happened at the dinner table tonight.

“Well everybody was laughing. Plus Jason looked all weird like that time I said the bad words. I wasn’t telling a story, Emily, I heard that stuff.”

“I know Ashley. Come over here and sit by me.”

“OK.”

Ashley swung around, jumped down, and came to sit on the porch swing. Emily always smiled because her feet never touched the floor no matter what chair she was sitting in. She was a very small framed kid, like Spencer, but she was tough as nails.

“The noises you heard were Jason and I. We were um…loving each other.”

“You mean you were having sex?” Ashley asked.

“You're seven years old, you shouldn’t be so matter of fact.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nevermind. Yes, we were having sex, Ashley. As you know, Jason and I love each other very much. And when we get older we’re going to be married. Sometimes, because we love each other so much, we choose to express that love with our bodies. It’s called making love.”

“Is that the same as sex?”

“It means a little more but the act is the same, yes.”

“Eww, so Dave makes love to Gargamel?” Ashley asked shivering. “Why would he do something like that?”

“Dave loves Gar…Erin very much.” Emily replied. “They’ve loved each other even longer than you’ve been alive.”

“Hmm.” Ashley chewed on her straw while thinking about it. “So is making love fun?”

“We have a lot of years to talk about it. You're too young to know or care anything about it right now. But I promise that when the time comes we’ll have a nice long talk about it.”

“Aww man, I'm sick of being too young for stuff. Let’s talk about it now, Emily.”

“OK, if you answer this question correctly then we’ll talk about it. Do you think boys are cute?”

“What?” Ashley looked at her with an incredulous look on her little girl face. “Boys are stupid and they smell. I mean, not the new boys I know. Spencer, Derek, Jason, and even Hotch are awesome. I know they shower too. But regular boys…” she pretended to gag.

“If you feel that way then you're not ready to talk about making love.” Emily replied.

“Oh; oh well. You’ll talk with me about it though, when I'm ready?”

“Cross my heart.” Emily replied doing it.

Jason came out on the back porch and smiled.

“Am I interrupting girl talk?” he asked.

“I'm not ready for that yet.” Ashley said.

“I'm sorry?”

“Emily said I'm not ready for that yet but as soon as I am she promises to tell me.”

“I'm sure it'll be an interesting conversation.” Jason said.

“You're not mad at me, are you Jason?” Ashley asked.

“Of course not; you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“OK.” She managed a little smile as she jumped off the porch swing. “I gotta go to bed.”

“Hug.” Emily said, holding out her arms.

Ashley gave her a hug and kiss. She didn’t give Jason one but he felt no offense. She rarely hugged men except for Dave. It was a trust thing and he had every intention of respecting her boundaries.

“Goodnight guys.” Ashley said.

“Goodnight.” They said in unison.

“Don’t forget bathroom before bed.” Emily said.

“I won't.”

Ashley went into the house, leaving the two teens alone. Emily was still enjoying the last of her clove. Jason looked up at the sky. The porch swing moved slowly back and forth.

“I did some calculations.” Jason said breaking the silence.

“For what?” Emily looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“While there were a couple of moments that came close I can easily say that was the single most embarrassing moment of my life. It won hands down.”

“I'm sorry.” She put her hand on his shoulder. “I actually thought it was hysterical. I probably wouldn’t have if JJ had said it but Ashley’s so innocent…she doesn’t even know what sex is.”

“It was the sound effects.” Jason replied. “That’s what really drove it home for me.”

“Yeah, they were a little embarrassing.” She said.

“Do I sound like that?”

“No.” Emily shook her head. She took one last inhale of her clove before plucking it. “C'mon Jace, she’s seven; it wasn’t a direct quote.”

“I know. I guess I was getting used to the kids getting older. I never saw something like that coming.”

“We handled it pretty well.”

“You handled it.” he said.

“Well, it’s my job to make sure the girls are OK.” Emily said. “We do a lot of things together but right now I do think Ashley is more comfortable with a woman. I still think she adores you, she's just trying to find a way to express those feelings.”

“She has time.” Jason replied.

“Yeah.”

Emily leaned back on the porch swing, getting more comfortable. She smiled when Jason slipped his arm around her and pulled her closer.

“I hope the fact that she heard us won't cause any friction.”

“No,” he shook his head. “Ashley and I are fine.”

“I meant with you and I, Jason.”

“Why would it do that?”

“Well I don’t want you deciding that we shouldn’t do anything intimate because there might be a slight chance of being heard.”

Because there was a full house, Jason and Emily always made love late at night. Actually it would be better described as early in the morning. It was very early in the morning. Both his room and her room were separated from the kids’ rooms by a bathroom.

That supposedly lessened the chances of being overheard. But at that hour the house was silent. If someone was awake they would obviously get a full show. Luckily Ashley had no real idea what she was listening to anyway.

“I think I’ll concern myself a little more with making sure that Ashley gets enough sleep at night.” Jason replied. “What little private time I have with you…I'm not giving it up.”

“I'm happy to hear that. So tonight…”

“Tonight, I’ll come to your room.”

Emily laughed, kissing him. She caressed his face and kissed him again. Raising a family was always full of adventure. It wasn’t all fun and games of course but little moments like this made Emily smile. Her family was happy and nothing could stop her from feeling good about that.

***

  



End file.
